What to say to someone who’s grieving.

Since suffering my own profound loss, I keep thinking I should know the perfect words to say to others who losed their loved ones. However, when faced with the situation – which is sadly happening far too often recently – it hits me all over again that there are no perfect words.

Nothing will ever take away the heartbreak of loss. No words can lessen the ache, deep within their chest, that comes from missing someone so dear to them.

There are no words is what I say now. It sounds completely unoriginal, but actually a lot of thought goes into that sentence. I thought long and hard about what to say, about what I would have liked to have heard when I lost my sons, and came to the conclusion that there literally are no words. And, if I’m truly honest, saying nothing (or saying an overused phrase like “there are no words”) is better than saying the wrong thing.

Now, this blog post wasn’t completely random. There’s been a little tragedy in my home town. It’s a little too close to me, someone was driving from our house and never made it home. I actually didn’t know them particularly well; they were my partner’s guests, not mine (and they were fairly recent acquaintances of my partner at that). But most people in town did. The whole town is grieving. I think if I saw this man’s family down the street, instead of saying a word to them, I will give them a hug. Because sometimes words just aren’t enough.

Rest in peace, Ben.❤️ I may not have known you well, but I knew just how much personality you had. My heart breaks for your family.


One thought on “What to say to someone who’s grieving.

  1. Just being willing to be with the person in their sadness is such a gift. Much better than trivializing their pain in an attempt to fix it. Deep sorrow is a beautiful sign of deep love, and we shouldn’t try to chase it away too soon. My sincere condolences to Ben’s family, and wishing them courage until they meet again.

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