Babyloss, Life

So many 2 year olds.

Quite a few of the children around me have turned 2 lately. It’s a bit hard seeing them happily celebrate their birthdays, because my boys should be here doing that too.  (My personal Facebook status from 2 years ago today).

Thinking back to two years ago – we were all pregnant at the same time. But these beautiful babies got to live and mine did not. I wouldn’t wish this sort of loss onto anyone, but a part of me wonders how is that fair? 

At the same time another part of me rejoices seeing these beautiful children turn two. They look so happy. I am reminded that the world isn’t a horrible place; it’s the place that took my sons from me but also that gave these children life. It’s so lovely to watch these babes grow up, even though it would have been a lot nicer for my boys to be growing up alongside them. 

These 2-year-olds do serve as a sad reminder of what I’m missing out on, but somehow it’s healing to see them all around me.


2 thoughts on “So many 2 year olds.

  1. Thank you for sharing your courage in looking beyond the injustice and seeing light in the babies that got to stay. It gives me hope for our future and being able to not let the anger take over. X

    • I still get angry sometimes. I actually posted a very brutally honest post a week or so ago, about my anger… I later ended up deleted it because “normal” people just don’t understand the anger us babyloss mums feel sometimes and I was worried people would take it the wrong way… Like yes I know, my anger is irrational and not fair to the subject of it, but I still feel it.
      But there are more good days then bad now. I guess I try to remember my boys in a positive light and live my life in a way that honours them, whereas before I was just sad and angry they weren’t here (but I still have plenty of those days too).

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